1. It’s not you. It’s me.

2. It’s not me. It’s them.

3. It’s not us. It’s you.

4. I made you a CD!

(It’s “Float On” by Modest Mouse)

5. Sorry, legacies only.

6. As T. S. Eliot, Class of 1910 once said,

“No thanks.”

7. Take him or her to karaoke.

(“We!…are never ever ever…gonna block together!”)

8. You’re an insurance liability.

9. …You’re my proctor.

10. No, Abe.

11. Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven, eight, we’re full.

12. Balloons!

13. Via text message: Who is this hahaha

14. You go to BU and you can’t crash here after going to the AD.

15. We don’t enjoy your company.