Should she go on a date with a guy who admitted he couldn’t remember the names of everyone he had slept with? It turned out she liked him the best—next to an ex-Mormon from Utah and a military pilot. Should she accept a Facebook friend request of a guy she’d been messaging with? It was a mess—an extracurricular activity that had spun out of control.

One of my more promising prospects (investment banker, ka-ching!) gave me some sagely advice. Or mostly a warning. “Stay in college forever. Never. Leave.” If OKCupid was a taste of what life would be like after college, it made me want to have nothing to do with it.

Maybe college was my last chance to bask in my love of Teen Mom and naps. Maybe I wasn’t ready for OKCupid or other adult things, like going to museums and adopting puppies. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to watch Clueless for the hundredth time and think about getting with my ex-step brother. And there was always Hillel.

My friend ended up finding her next boyfriend the old fashioned way: at Shabbat dinner at Chabad (the most shameless Jewish courtship ritual, next to an Israeli dancing singles event). Reportedly, he is “smitten” with her. His words to her, not mine.

As for me, I recently walked around Harvard Square with a wad of toilet paper draping down my leg. A benevolent stranger called it to my attention. My come hither face is still a work in progress. Maybe it will be better next year.

Laura G. Mirviss ’12 is a senior in Pforzheimer House. She plans to join JDate next year, as all her mother’s friends have found their second husbands that way. It is not free.