Theses

-In order to write one: read ALL of the things

-Failure to properly identify sources: Ad Board

-Could win honors awards: cha-ching!

-The bowels of Pusey: a perfectly legitimate place to leave it

Babies

-In order to develop one: eat ALL of the things

-Failure to properly identify partner: Jerry Springer

-Could cost you your life earnings: cha-ching?

-The bowels of Pusey: a perfectly illegitimate place to conceive it

Both

-Demands all of your time, even to the exclusion of personal hygiene

-You can’t stop talking about it to anyone who will listen

-You need to do lots of research to make sure it comes out well

-Can make you look good by winning awards in the future

-Didn’t really turn out the way you expected it would

-Good-bye social life

-Has a nine-month incubation period