It’s that time of the year again, ladies and gentlemen: The Game.

And not just any Game, kids, it’s my final Game.

That’s right, four years at Yale have finally brought me to this point.

A lot’s happened in four years: I no longer want to save the world (hello, Wall Street!), I’ve actually successfully managed to get into those fabled places called seminars (1400 pages of reading per week FTW!), and I have continued to have zero luck with the ladies (ughhh).

However, the most important thing I’ve picked up from my twenty-one years (besides blissful alcoholic legality) is to know to stay the heck away from that freezing hellhole some call Cambridge.

Yale has been 0–3 at in my tenure as resident drunk fan in the stands, and I don’t know if I want to suffer another nutmeg-grounding loss at the hands of the Cantabs while contracting hypothermia and gluteal frostbite.

A couple weekends ago, my mom called to find out when I should book tickets to fly home for our glorious, week-long Thanksgiving break (suck it, Harvard). “Are you going to The Game?” she asked.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “In this fall—and this is very tough…I’m going to take my talents to Cambridge and watch the Harvard-Yale game.”

Why? For one, I’m doing the gameday radio color commentary on wybcx.com (your home for Yale sports), so I kinda sorta have to be there.

But even if I weren’t, I would make the trip because—for the first time in my four years of lackluster academic performance and sporadically habitual inebriation—Yale is going to WIN.

That’s right, Mr. Walsh of The Harvard Crimson, Yale is going to WIN.

Now, I know you’ve got the same “huh?” expression on your face as the time you watched Snooki hook up with Vinny on “Jersey Shore,” but trust me, I’ve got my reasons for that bold prediction,

1) The Luck of the Lin is gone.

Over the course of my lengthy research for The Game, one statistical anomaly in Harvard’s wins kept popping up: the presence of Jeremy Lin on the Cantab campus.

For those of you who don’t go to Harvard (a.k.a., you have lives), Jeremy Lin was a starting guard for the Cantab basketball team. After four years of destroying Ivy League opponents, he became the first Asian-American shorter than a skyscraper to make it to the NBA. In other words, he was a resolute middle finger to every stereotype out there. Besides being an inspiration to all vertically-challenged Asian basketballers (like yours truly), Jeremy provided the mythical “Luck of the Lin” for the last three years (he had not yet acquired it in his freshman year).