After questioning Lindsay’s latest recovery attempt, mocking Nicole Richie’s DUI, and “doodling” white dots of cocaine and semen across countless celebrity faces, Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. aka “Perez Hilton” has found his place in Hollywood. This year, the “Gossip Gangstar” awarded his namesake, Paris Hilton, the “Big Outlaw” award at VH1’s “Big in ’06” show, starred in his own GQ magazine spread, and basked in the glory of running “Hollywood’s Most-Hated Web Site.” Working from his “office,” a local L.A. coffee shop, Lavendeira’s site, PerezHilton.com, “celebrity juice, not from concentrate,” attracts 3.7 million unique hits each day, each one dying to steal a glimpse behind the scenes, or between the thighs, of Hollywood’s in-crowd.

The Harvard Crimson: You went to NYU Tisch School of the Arts. What kind of student were you in college?

Perez Hilton: I was a good student, I’ve always been a good student. I went to NYU on a full scholarship.

THC: Have you ever been to Harvard?

PH: I was almost going to go to Harvard. I mean, I didn’t even apply but up until my senior year it was all “I’m going to Harvard or...Yale. I’m going to do everything that I’m supposed to. And I’m going to end up being a lawyer. Blah blah blah blah blah.” But then I realized: the last thing in life I want to do is be a lawyer. The last thing in life I want to do is do what people expect me to do, or want me to do.

THC: Do you have a favorite Harvard celebrity?

PH: Matt Damon [Class of 1992], because he’s like me. He probably pissed off his parents, by dropping out before graduating, and he went the unexpected route. I mean I love how Matt Damon just kind of keeps it real.

THC: What event has caused your blog to receive the most hits?

PH: Britney’s vagina did wonders for me.

THC: People love the pussy shots.

PH: I love it. I’m obsessed with it.

THC: So recently there’s been a lot of controversy about you “lancing” [Hilton’s Lance Bass-inspired term for outing celebrities] people. Do you see yourself having a role in promoting gay pride?

PH: My role is being honest about what I report and being honest to myself. I mean I’m not a gay blogger. I’m a blogger who happens to be gay and who happens to be Latino. I don’t believe that being gay and out in Hollywood will hurt your career. That is a false conceit perpetuated by self-hating homos.

THC: You talked about really putting an emphasis on the truth. How do you get most of your tips and how do you know who to trust?

PH: I only trust sources and people that I know and that have been reliable for me in the past. I won’t just trust a random e-mail off of a random person on my website because they could be lying or have an agenda.

THC: I think the visibility and transparency of your website are really important. As the self-proclaimed “Queen of all Media” how do you foresee blogs changing how people get their news?

PH: People now know that they can turn to PerezHilton.com to get the latest breaking celebrity news practically 24 hours a day. People have, and have always had, an insatiable thirst for celebrities news and I feed it to them for free.

THC: You’re well known for your “doodling.” I know you like to mock celebrities, the pictures of the coke and semen and everything, but do you have an overreaching goal in changing the way average people view celebrities, or is this just for fun?

PH: I started the website just for fun. I never expected any of this to happen, it just did. Everything that’s happened with the website and with my life has been very organic. I mean I go against all conventional wisdom.

THC: You and Matt Damon. You go against the grain. Do you ever regret anything that you’ve posted?

PH: Never. Not a single time.

THC: A lot of posts recently have been talking about Lindsay Lohan’s weight gain. Do you think it could have negative effects on her recovery?

PH: No because I don’t really think she’s making a concerted effort [to recover]...I think I’m like a good bullshit detector. All this in your face, “Oh she’s getting help blah blah blah,”—it’s just a façade. It’s a PR attempt at trying to get favorable coverage. I’m not just being cynical, I know. I went to this party at Brett Ratner’s Saturday night. I left at 2:30 in the morning. She didn’t even come to the party until like 3:30. Everyone there told me she was [intended pause] out of it. I mean, come on girl.

THC: I like this, getting a peek into your mind. If I say a celebrity, will you say the first word that comes to mind?: Britney Spears.

PH: Cloudy.

THC: Tom Cruise.

PH: Fart.

THC: Paris Hilton.

PH: Friend.

THC: Clay Aiken. That should be an interesting one.

PH: Gay.

THC: How about Sacha Baron Cohen?

PH: Literate.

THC: Nicole Richie.

PH: Skinny.

THC: What about pinkisthenewblog.com. Friend or competitor?

PH: Friend! I mean I don’t really have any competitors. No one’s really doing what I’m doing.

THC: Now I know that you’re definitively fabulous but do you have any advice to the future leaders of America: current Harvard students?

PH: Yeah, don’t be an asshole.