3. 50 Cent—Candy Shop
Amerie would not fall for this shit. She would seriously suck her teeth and peer over her eyeglasses at this clown until he took it all back. All class!
2. Snoop Dogg ft. Justin Timberlake—Signs
This song is incredible in every way. Justin says “don’t fuck with me” in the bright, sugary chorus, and Snoop talks about his “tone.” An undeniable, simple beat by the Neptunes and in fact, in fact, I think it might be every bit as good as “One Thing.” One of the best parts about it is that the JT cameo implies that there’s a new album on the way. And it also suggests that Snoop Dogg’s done trying to resist his place in the 2k5 landscape, embracing the clown shoes and teaming up with the greatest pop singer alive for a cheesy celebration of life. Snoop Dogg in cheesy celebration of life shockah!!!
1. Mariah Carey—It’s Like That
I think I might have gotten the wrong version of this, because the track I’m listening to has Fatman Scoop on it instead of Mariah Carey. Either way, this song is the pits and there’s no reason why Amerie should not be at the top of this chart. Signing off. Download “One Thing.”
—Staff writer Leon Neyfakh can be reached at neyfakh@fas.harvard.edu.