Things just aren’t going well in Cambridge.

Spring break is over. NYU recently beat Harvard for first in a list of “Dream Schools” published by the Princeton Review. You totally forgot the obscene, profanity-filled acronym you memorized to help you with theropods on your Dinosaurs midterm. And let’s not forget that thing that happened with President Lawrence H. Summers, a man whose name I only want to see in print again if it is followed by the words “has decided to give Pablo Torre a million dollars.”

By the way: if you were here in the year 2002, you apparently took a survey and said that you were less satisfied than other college kids with your “undergraduate experience.” Thanks a lot.

If someone said I was just bitter, though, he or she would only be half-right.

It used to be hard to be cynical. Just a few weeks ago, I was enthralled by the NCAA Tournament, what with lovable, thefacebook-able players like Kevin Pittsnogle taking center stage. Major League Baseball, fantasy baseball, and Yankees-Red Sox were also all on the verge of detonation, meaning I would soon trade insults with various students I’d never met. Harvard’s acceptance rate even dropped to an all-time low. Certainly, such are the things that life is made of.

But recently, something happened which pushed me over the edge.

GQ magazine recently selected their list of the ten schools with the most obnoxious college sports fans in America to coincide with the finals of the NCAA Tournament. On the list? Duke, West Virginia, Maryland, Ohio State, WashingtonState, Minnesota, Florida State, Vanderbilt, Colorado, and—you guessed it—us.

If only I did not believe that capitalizing entire words and alternating many exclamation points and question marks were bad journalistic form.

It’s not that I think GQ is necessarily wrong with their selection.

Most Ivy League schools could fit the bill, simply for not having many fans at all, be they basketball or otherwise.

Really, I’m more baffled at how we made it into a list with such big-name company.

All of the aforementioned names except Duke, Florida State, Vanderbilt, and Harvard made the list for reports of lighting things on fire, excessive property damage, and senseless rioting.

Fans of the perennially successful Blue Devils made it on for being intolerably “annoying,” “geeky,” and “loud.”

Vanderbilt made it for supposed “student-fan apathy,” an unacceptable trend given that they’re in the perpetually competitive SEC.

Florida State made it on for inventing the crowd-rousing and at-times maddening Tomahawk Chop.