Psychology concentrators can conduct a survey outside of the Science Center about the type of people who are actually affected by the groups screaming at them to divest from Dunkin Donuts while listening to Britney Spears on someone’s computer speakers. Statistics concentrators can help the psych students out with this one.

If you’re a philosophy concentrator, team up with someone studying classics. Neither of you will be expected to say anything contemporary, but the fact that you’re saying something, anything, to another person is a big start towards reconnecting with the rest of the world.

Students of economics, I have some bad news for you: economics isn’t a real science. When you get over that and realize that it’s your personality that’s going to land you that i-banking cubicle-slave job you’re after, you’ll be a lot better off. In the meantime, consider this opportunity-cost: spending four hours on your problem set and getting a B, or spending one hour on your problem set, finding a date for Saturday night, and still getting a B. Ah, the bell-curve.

For computer science concentrators, there is hope among you who have laptops. Wireless is your friend: go play with it.

Social studies concentrators should know what to do—be social, and/or practice Marxism.

Finally, to my fellow gov jocks: you probably aren’t studying anyway, but there are more creative ways than Halo 2 to spend the time between lunch and practice. Wait, what am I saying? Keep playing Halo.

There is a concentration of fascinating people here. At no other time in our lives will we be around such a diversely brilliant group of people. If you’re not happy with your undergraduate experience, you need to go outside and utilize Harvard’s best resource: its students.

Brendan D. B. Hodge ’07, a Crimson editorial comper, is a government concentrator in Cabot House.