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Predictions

The executives of The Crimson's editorial board put their slightly scuffed crystal ball to work

Associate Editorial Chair

In a last-ditch effort to reassert its relevance in the face of Harvard’s mental woes, the soon-to-be-defunct Bureau of Study Counsel will recommend that all students begin rigorous regimens of primal scream therapy. The Bureau will be vastly misunderstood.

Lauren A.E. Schuker '06

Guest Predictor: News Editor

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Dean Maria M. (“Mommy”) Tatar will leave the land of Oz at last, not offering her intellectually-rigorous Core, “Fairy Tales,” next year. Instead, she will spend her summer gardening, snoozing and reading Levi-Strauss for Beginners.

Nathan J. Heller '06

Guest Predictor: News Editor

I will sneak miniature gnomes into Tatar’s garden as she snoozes. She thinks they’re Extension School auditors. Then I’ll read fairy tales, in her basement with the witches. This will count as a “Harvard College Course,” to earn $0.50 on eBay for Allston development.

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