Thefacebook.com vs. The Harvard College facebook: Nobody uses the latter, but hey, both have their advantages.

In thefacebook.com, one gets a comprehensive database of colorful student profiles and zany pictures. In the Harvard online facebook, one gets lots of lasting freshman year photos and doesn’t have to deal with characters like “God Almighty,” “Keggy the Keg” and “Your Mother.”

Chicken parmesan vs. Veggie lasagna: What two Annenburg delicacies represent the true potential of the human palate?

Chicken Parm and Veggie Lasagna, the entrees that could kill a small elephant with delight.

Everyone knows that Chicken Parm is the best meal on campus—nay, in the universe—but Veggie Lasagna remains an under-appreciated gem. Tough choices all around.

Beer vs. Liquor: For more on this, review the University’s 2004 tailgate policy for The Game. Apparently, we favor liquor.

King James Bible vs. Ivy Presidents: For more on this, review Michael R. James’ columns on thecrimson.com. If you have a heartbeat, you favor Mr. James.

That freshman from Minnesota who protested dorm central heating vs. Normal people: No, seriously, this really happened. The Crimson reported on it a few weeks ago. That kid needs to get a grip.

Laundry vs. No laundry: Do you do laundry today? Or don’t you do laundry today?: Whether the walk is from Wig A to Wig X, Matthews to Weld, doing laundry sure is an annoying hassle.

Versus, your clothes start to smell funny.

Okay, this column is really scratching at the bottom of the idea barrel. We’ll save further debate for later.

Just remember, freshmen: Harvard-Yale, just like Harvard-Penn last week—as well as anything else you care about strongly in life—operates on a higher level than the average.

When you win, it lasts. When you lose, it really lasts.

Or as that great philosopher Louisa May Alcott once said, “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!”

—Staff writer Alex McPhillips can be reached at rmcphill@fas.harvard.edu. His column appears on alternate Wednesdays.