America to the site’s fold, thefacebook.com has exhibited the potential to be the next notch in that timeline chronicling the Venn Diagram of sports and mass media. The next step to bringing you even closer to your favorite professional athletes. Disturbingly close, even.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at a few of the darlings of the collegiate sports world that I’ve collected that have already registered with the site.

1. B.J. SZYMANSKI

Let’s start locally with Princeton, our very own baseball team’s Ivy League rival.

Current Billings Mustang Brandon “B.J.” Szymanski is a highly overrated baseball player, one we at The Crimson believe to be nowhere near as good as the experts have projected.

Nevertheless, his name benefited from a meteoric rise within scouting circles when he was a Tiger for his possession of baseball’s mythical five “tools”: running fast, throwing hard, hitting for average, hitting for power and fielding ability. Thus, he was drafted in the second round (48th overall) of the 2004 MLB draft by the Cincinnati Reds.

And, he is on thefacebook.com. Nice picture, B.J.—wait, that’s a question mark, not an actual photo. Way to foster the online community.

Anyway, the bottom line is that you need to poke Szymanski before he eventually dupes the woeful Reds organization into promoting him to the big leagues while you still have the chance. Alternately, send him a message asking him why he did so horribly against Crimson pitching last year.

2. MAURICE STOVALL

Moving even closer to the national stage brings us even better candidates.

Hailing from South Bend, Ind. is Notre Dame’s Maurice Stovall, the Fighting Irish’s star wide receiver and former Sports Illustrated cover-boy.

The junior is a member of groups such as the basketball team’s “Leprechaun Legion,” and even more predictably “Muck Fichigan.” Stovall additionally lists “Rap, R&B, Hip Hop, slow jams, panty droppin [and] old school” as his favorite music.The Bible is his favorite book.

3. RASHON POWERS-NEAL

Powers-Neal, Notre Dame’s starting fullback, is Stovall’s online partner in crime. A member of both the Legion and Muck Fichigan, he also claims allegiance to “Random Hook-ups Anonymous,” and takes a more philosophical angle to life. When asked to supply something about him, the senior says, “If I tell you, then we won’t have anything to talk about.”

Hey, this is true, Rashon. This is very true.