Hartigan is averaging 124.0 yards per contest, but he only manages to pick up 3.8 yards per attempt. Cornell should be able to load up the box and hold Hartigan under his averages in both yards per game and yards per carry. This means the Bears will be forced to take to the air, relying on quarterback Joe DiGiacomo, who has thrown seven picks and zero touchdowns in his last three games.

The question of the week is how many points will Cornell score. The Big Red averages 13.8 points per game and has cracked the 20-point barrier just once this season (against Harvard).

Cornell does have an emerging offensive threat in junior running back Andre Hardaway, who has registered his two highest career rushing totals in the past two weeks. Look for him to rush for about 100 yards and pick up a touchdown, as the Big Red eliminates Brown from the title hunt with a 17-14 win.

COLUMBIA (0-5, 0-2) vs. DARTMOUTH (0-5, 0-2)

If anyone’s looking for a catchy slogan to draw fans in to watch this one, I’ve got a promotional headline right here.

Somebody has to win.

That’s right. After weeks of losing (or decades in the case of the Lions), one team is guaranteed to put a crooked number in its win column.

Though winless and Columbia have formed a macaroni-and-cheese-like word association in my head, I’m going to take the Lions over the Big Green at home. One reason is that Columbia is better than its 0-5 record would indicate. (I guess they couldn’t be worse). And the other reason is that Dartmouth suffered the ultimate indignity of getting blown out by Holy Cross at home.

In all honesty, if this were a boxing match, the Columbia-Dartmouth contest would be the undercard to a main event involving two New York-area junior varsity high school teams.

The Lions win 24-10, because, well, somebody has to.

—Staff writer Michael R. James can be reached at mrjames@fas.harvard.edu. His column "Around the Ivy League" appears every Friday.