“I wish I had socialized more,” Murray says. “But it was like every time I wanted to...I mean, I had writing, I just had so much to do.”

Murray says that she did not feel alienated because of her background, although she realized that gossip traveled quickly.

“If you have a dorm with 25 kids, word gets around,” Murray says.

Some of those who knew Murray remember that, while she rarely spoke of her personal life, she seemed to be increasingly frustrated by the end of her first semester.

In January 2001, Murray disappeared from the Yard, not to return for a year.

Although she is hesitant to discuss the circumstances surrounding her departure, Murray suggests that the demands of her growing fame and the lingering effects of her tumultuous childhood had taken a toll on her while at Harvard.

“I got to Harvard, and it was like all of this stuff had happened to me,” Murray says. “I thought to myself, I have lost so much, I am here alone. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and this is all going to pass by in four quick years and I just want to make sure that I am prepared.”

Murray says she was often away from Harvard dealing with various problems back home.

“My living situation wasn’t stable, there was a whole moving process back in New York, there was too much instability,” Murray says. “I needed time away.”

While those who knew Murray say they understood academic difficulties to be the official reason behind her sudden departure, they say ability clearly wasn’t the problem. Instead, personal issues kept Murray from devoting herself completely to Harvard and her academics.

That first semester, Murray took “Expository Writing,” “Justice,” and courses in film and poetry. Murray also joined a small AIDS education group on campus.

“She was academically oriented,” Bloomkatz says. “We talked about papers and our work sometimes. We all know that Liz is bright enough and special enough to be here. She just had so much shit going on in her life and she had to deal with it.”

Harvard officials would not comment on the circumstances behind Murray’s departure. But a year off, with a six-month work requirement, is Harvard’s standard response to students who fail to meet minimum academic requirements.

It was during her year away from Harvard that Murray sealed a book deal with Hyperion Press that allowed her to begin work on her autobiography. She also worked for Candice Bergen’s show on the Oxygen cable television network.

Murray says that during her year off she did not keep in close contact with Harvard, although she says the College sent e-mails checking up with her.