RR: So, the point of all this was…?

BURK (interrupting): You’re here, aren’t you?

RR: Point taken. Well, several days ago you compared this cause to the plight of female soldiers fighting in Iraq. Why did you say that?

BURK: Honestly, that was a mistake. Sometimes I just say stupid things.

RR: Where have you recruited most of your sympathizers? How do they have the time to come down and protest?

BURK: They’re all professionals, of course. They used vacation days. Do you think the average woman in this country cares about the fate of rich, privileged women and their abilities to join a golf club?

RR: How would you say the protest is going?

BURK: Well, the women have been complaining about the lack of domestic help.

RR: Finally, what other all-male clubs are you looking to integrate?

BURK: I’ve been mobilizing for an attack on all-male prisons, actually. Them and the U.S. Senate.

RR: But there are already women in the U.S. Senate.

BURK: Really? They sure don’t look like it.

RR: Ms. Burk, thanks for talking to us, and good luck with your efforts.

ANCHOR: Rahul, we’ve got to cut to our retired gender-equality protestors soon, so please wrap it up.

RR: With pleasure. Well, folks, this battle will rage at least until Sunday, when the tournament is over. Neither side is giving an inch. Nighttime is fast approaching, and as we all know, the NCWO “owns the night.” They have also established 100 percent air-waves supremacy. But the enemy is formidable, and the level of resistance fiercer than expected. Martha Burk would have liked to establish a larger coalition for her cause, but right now she is settling for a “coalition of the willing to waste time in a parking lot holding signs.”

From somewhere in Augusta, Ga., this is Rahul Rohatgi with the 3rd-5th Battalion. Now back to the studio, and back to the issues that matter.

—Staff writer Rahul Rohatgi can be reached at rohatgi@fas.harvard.edu.