Another thing—Canada’s always bragging about its hockey skills. So the Canadians spanked the U.S. in the Olympic championships. That proves nothing, save for the fact that they are more adept at hitting a piece of vulcanized black rubber while skating around in circles on ice. Hardly a useful skill.

But I digress. The real questions is if this guy makes you happy—and if you can forgive his tendency to run around like a little kid in a Superman costume. Those tight red underpants aren’t attractive, especially if they have a maple leaf on the bottom.

Canucks are a tricky sort. Perhaps you’re better off dealing with real men, like Norwegian Svend Karlsen, the reigning world’s strongest man.

Dear Love Doctor,

I’m a sportswriter for a campus publication and I love my job. However, I am currently facing a little bit of a moral dilemma. You see, recently I published a column about how much I enjoy Duke basketball. I received very positive responses to the column from Duke alums, current students and administrators.

Some of the responses were a little too positive, if you know what I mean. I’ve received some dinner offers (and in some cases, offers for “dessert” as well) from recent female alums in the Boston area. Should I take up these lady Blue Devils on their requests for my company, or would that be an abuse of my position as a journalist and against some sort of “ethics?”

Sincerely,

Lucky in Lowell

Dear Lucky,

Are you crazy? Don’t you think it’s a tad suspicious that these women are soliciting you based on a column? What sort of people do that?

Perhaps it’s just a bit of March Madness in the air.

The Blue Devils just landed three players—Mike Dunleavy, Carlos Boozer and Jason Williams—on the All-America and All-ACC lists. Following a huge upset by Virginia on Feb. 28, Duke rebounded over a dismal UNC team on Sunday, unleashing a 93-68 trouncing to set up another NCAA championship run.

But all of that is irrelevant in addressing your problem. I just had to get the sports bit in first.

My suspicion is that these women are less interested in getting to know you as a person than in taking advantage of the Duke connection. You claim that your column was just about your love of Blue Devils basketball. Perhaps underlying that self-professed love is a lonely man seeking a connection by reaching out to people with a shared interest for all things blue and devilish.

If that is the case, then it is morally reprehensible to use your column as a means of attracting love interests.

I recommend placing a personal ad.

So that wraps it up. Who knew that the worlds of sports and love were so intertwined? Best wishes, oh loving ones. Any further questions? Just e-mail. I’m here for you.