Ben licks spinach puff. Proceeds to lick Jennifer instead.

Ms. Boldt and I talk next to them. I go refill spinach puffs.

As I sit and wait for my shipment of Glow to arrive, and bemoan the fact that I would be a far richer woman and well on my way to a debt-free education if I had only had a camera (imagine how much Entertainment Tonight would pay for a picture of Ben feeding Jennifer chocolate cake—which I had cut!), I thought I’d share this story with all the other celebrity-dazzled, Oscar-watching, magazine-reading moviegoers out there. You know you are one if a) you agree that imdb.com is one of the best procrastinatory tools out there or b) you do not think that this column belongs in FM.

Of course, there is no redemption for reading Page Six rather than pages 210-354 in my coursepack, nor is there any worldly impact in knowing that someone’s rear end is worth twenty times the value of my college education (although, listening to Ben Affleck soliloquize on how Hollywood should take a stand on the Middle East, almost persuaded me otherwise), but somehow, finally standing in front of someone who seems only to exist in the unreal fantastic universe behind a movie screen seems a kind of just atonement.

By the way, yes, they really are as attractive in person.

Sue Meng ’03 is a history and literature concentrator in Adams House. Her column appears on alternate Mondays.