When I feel upset, the beauty of a tree in Kirkland House courtyard or the excitement of tourists photographing buildings, squirrels and each other is much more likely to make me smile than any attempt to convince myself that the big picture suggests I should feel happy. I recommend against trying to philosophize oneself into a happy mood; so far, it has never worked for me, while ice cream and funny movies have an impeccable track record.
•Persevere despite, or along with, the questions.
At various times, this place has made me question everything I believe, from religion to moral standards to intellectual approaches. College is especially a time for these questions because the givens of childhood, all the decisions our parents once made for us, are now up to us. We decide not only the details of what classes to take, but also the big picture. With whom will I keep in touch? How do I spend my time? Are my parents’ decisions really what I think are right? How do I decide? The answers to these questions can inform everything we do. And therefore, not knowing the answers can sometimes feel paralyzing.
Many times in college, these questions did paralyze me, and one place I looked for an answer was religion. But when I did, nothing emerged clearly for me. Judaism has rules about the details—what to eat and how to treat people—but I couldn’t find the meaning of life listed anywhere clearly. However, as I thought about this during the high holiday season this past year, that time in the fall during which Jews reevaluate their decisions, I realized one important thing—that season of introspection ends!
Yes, the Jewish calendar clearly mandates time to consider issues of priorities and values. Days are set aside for us to rethink how we act and how we live. But when the sun sets on Yom Kippur, the book of life is closed and put on the shelf until the next year. Whether or not we like the answers Judaism or anyone else offers, whether we have any answers at all, there is a time to search and a time to move on, taking the answers that we’ve considered on our path with us.
As soon as the high holidays end, Judaism tells me it’s time to go do something. Build a hut for the upcoming holiday of Sukkot. Make up all the work you missed over the holidays. Go to your meetings and see your friends. In other words, the calendar cycle enforces an end to the season, just as it mandates its beginning.
I find much comfort in thinking of the Jewish calendar this way, and I think the college calendar is similar. We come here, spend four years rethinking everything we’ve ever believed, and are then dumped back into the world expected to function, even function well. If I continued in my overly analytical way to question all my assumptions, considering the theories I’ve learned, the contradictions between these ideas and the injustices in the world, I would be a useless employee and unproductive member of society. So while we should continue learning and thinking critically, I am excited for this opportunity to do, to act on those values even when I still have difficulty justifying them.
I will take my college textbooks and coursepacks with me as I move on, along with the phone numbers of some of the most amazing people I have ever met. But most importantly, I will take these lessons—the knowledge that it is worth trying, and that I have the possibility of succeeding—wherever I go.
Shira H. Fischer ’01, a biochemical sciences concentrator in Kirkland House, was associate online chair of The Crimson in 2000.