"'A friend of mine told me that you eat the animal's fear. Which, if you think about hormones, and adrenaline, and the panic of the flight-or-fight response, it's quite true." - Ashley

"I'll be honest. I still play [in my made up superhero world.] Because that's what's fun for me. I have all the sound here in my bedroom so I can turn it up loud. I live alone and when I get bored or lonely, I make up scenarios in my head and I play 'em out." - Freddie

"Last night I did something that I'm really not sure I've ever done before in my life. I - what's the word? Gelled? Chilled? No, vegged!" - Ashley

SOMAN'S SHORTS

Thank God for Elian Gonzalez. Yes, yes, I'm as sick of the very pampered little boy as you are ("Mommy mommy, I want ice cream!" he screams and the next day Ben and Jerry's brings him a lifetime supply), but he thankfully ended a severe news drought. Until last week, Time and Newsweek were resorting to their stock stories - you know, updates of "Is There Really Life on Mars?", "Human Cloning: The Future is Now," "Was Jesus Black?," etc... Every time Anna Kournikova wins a tennis match, her mother and coach make a beeline for the nearest liquor stand to take shots... Resorting to legal force, Oprah managed to prevent one of her ex-employees from writing an expose of what really happens behind the scenes at the Oprah Winfrey show. Ironic, of course, since Oprah championed free speech when she was sued by those Texas cattle ranchers a couple of years back... Everyone's buzzing about this Saturday's SNL that'll spoof Ricky Martin, Jennifer Lopez, Elton John -- and there's a nasty little rumor that Celine Dion might come out of retirement for one last show... Who will play Spiderman? Director Sam Raimi is casting the picture for Columbia and rumors suggest that either Leo DiCaprio, Heath Ledger or Jude Law will don the red and blue skintight suit. Ledger is getting buzz for his performance alongside Mel Gibson in next month's The Patriot, but I'm betting on Law to score the webslinging role... I'm thinking of adapting Showgirls into a musical to go up on the Mainstage next year (after the Loeb, to Broadway!). I don't know how to write music but I think that'll be half the fun. Anybody want to direct? (Or play the Elizabeth Berkeley role? Maybe you can get a grant to do field research.)...After triumphantly proclaiming that Britney Spears' new song, "Oops... I Did It Again" was one of the greatest things I've heard in my life, a co-editor snapped, "You just like bad music." And though I didn't react at the time, the more I think about it, the more I start to lose my temper. Who's to say that "Oops... I Did It Again" isn't the epitome of art, the highest form of musical achievement? The truth is, musical taste is so ridiculously subjective that we can't control it. Just witness the countless boys and mothers who hide behind big sunglasses or make an excuse when they purchase the next Britney or Backstreet Boys CD. (You really didn't think all 11 million copies were being bought by teenage girls, did you?) Does good music have to be "groundbreaking"? Or should good music really be defined by "catchiness"? Huge, earth-shattering questions. At the end of the day, all I know is that once you hear "Oops," whether you like it or not, it's in your head for the rest of the week. Just try to resist it. I dare you.