Then, all of a sudden, one of the black belts flew across the mat into an aerial forward roll without using his hands. "I am out of my league," I whispered.

This realization led me to create a few general rules that will be helpful for martial arts beginners should one decide to give it a whirl.

Rule 1: Pay attention to and avoid irritating the people with their names written on their belts, but especially if it's both in English and Korean. This is universally applicable. In Texas, we have a similar truism: avoid fighting with people who wear belt buckles you could eat cereal out of. Also, if their names (i.e. Bubba Ray or Merle) are branded into their leather belts, the rule applies.

Rule 2: Learn how to fall. This is very important, because as a beginner, I have done a lot of it, some of it optional. Whether being ragdolled by a 5th-degree black belt or simply trying to keep your prized Harvard mind intact, this is a useful skill. Yes, there is a wrong way to fall.

Rule 3: To quote Yoda, "Size matters not." Not here at least. Being thrown/choked/twisted/kicked by a petite, 5'1" woman has convinced me of this.

As we began stretching, my sweat became even more evident. My light gray t-shirt was now dark gray. A brown belt named Doug observed my jerky movements and paranoid demeanor and said, "Just try to relax."

"What?" I replied sharply.

"Just try to relax. You're too tense."