SPORTY!

Most random bit of music "news" last week: apparently Mel C a.k.a. Sporty Spice (left) has a problem-she can't stop farting. To quote her, "I have a problem with farting, full stop. I'm always farting. Everybody's gotta know I'm a right farty-pants." Guess that's a side effect of those Spices.

MUSIC TO WATCH GIRLS BY

Yup, the music page has gone all analytic this week, discussing the process of recording an album and the rise of the pre-teen pop movement. Speaking of pre-teen pop, does anyone remember "Dur Dur D'Etre Bebe," that silly song by Jordy (right), the baby who sang in French? And if e-commerce is so great, why can't you find that CD on any of the major retailers' websites?

Farty-pants.

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL

Singlehood being what it is, my current guilty pleasure on a late Saturday night is settling in front on my TV and watching the terminally kitsch show "Your Big Break," another game-show import from Britain, which comes on after "Saturday Night Live." People come on the show in ordinary clothes, go behind a screen of smoke and emerge dressed as the singer they're about to try to sing like-Patsy Cline, Elvis, Janet Jackson, you get the idea.