Harvard was impressive in all aspects of the game. Defensively, sophomore goalie Cheryl Gunther was impenetrable and the Crimson backs dispossessed the Eli women regularly. On the offensive side of the ball, there are only two words to describe the dominance: Joey Yenne.

The dynamic sophomore slaughtered Yale with her blazing speed and deft touch. For her first score, Yenne took on three Yale defenders, accelerated past them with amazing ease, and blasted the ball perfectly under the crossbar. Yenne would go on to complete the hat trick in the second half, single-handedly propelling the Crimson to a 3-0 lead an demoralizing the Bulldogs.

The Yale defense was so transparent that I figured Yale Coach Rudy Meredith would potentially tap a deadly resource on the field that day - the 12-year old kids from the Boston area who had turned out for the fourth annual Youth Soccer Day. Maybe next year's recruiting class will contain these pint-sized powerhouses. I have a feeling that test scores and a lack of a high school diploma won't be a problem.

And finally, the last triumph of Harvard athletics over Yale athletics came later that evening at Blodgett Pool. The men's water polo team, which came into the game riding an eight-game winning streak, had no problem dispatching the Elis 10-2.

The Crimson was just too overpowering. Junior driver Mike Crosby scored four goals as Harvard leapt out to an early lead in the first quarter. The lead was so secure that Harvard Coach Jim Floerchinger went deep into the bench, playing all of his third and fourth string athletes. Even then, Yale could only muster two goals.

"Out of sportsmanship and deference to their team, I would rather not comment on the game," said sophomore driver Mike Masterson.

So, when all was said and done, Harvard was victorious in all of its games with Yale on Saturday. Yale never even had a chance in three of the games, and the only game in which it was competitive was due more to Mafioso tactics than soccer skill.

To anyone who would argue that Yale is better than Harvard, I have laid out an extensive argument with four clear examples of our dominance over you and your school (if I can call it that). You may want to rebut, but you're wrong. Find some other way to waste your time.