Besides, there are plenty of reasons to like Dubya, even if you disagree with him on taxes, Social Security, Medicare, abortion and all the rest. For one thing, in a Bush Restoration, we would be spared the prospect of another Maya Angelou Inauguration poem (the worst of Clinton's decisions, bar none), not to mention the preening of Streisand, Bolton and company, and the tedium of listening to Joe Lieberman tell us, yet again, about how much he loves his grandmother, his mother, his wife, his father, his dog and his God.

Oh, and under Bush, we would all get to carried more concealed weapons, which, I for one think, is a really swell idea. And I'm sure that all my readers agree with me.

Well, maybe not. Frankly, I don't think there is anything I could say or do that would convince Harvard's population of Baldwin clones that a George Bush presidency wouldn't be a nightmare of epic proportions. And maybe I don't need to--after all, it's quite possible that Gore will eke out a victory, and all their sleepless nights and travel reservations to Winnipeg and Brussels will have been for naught.

It's equally possible, however, that the Man from Midland, the Crown Prince of Kennebunkport, the Smirking Wonder, will actually grab the brass ring come November. At which point my much-beloved classmates will have to invest in some serious grief counseling.

Or they can always head for Nunavut. I hear the ice fishing is great this time of year.

Ross G. Douthat '02 is a history and literature concentrator in Quincy House. His column appears on alternate Mondays.