If you're looking for students in their preferred element, though, try the banks of the Charles River, Harvard's most beautiful vista on warm days. But this is not Stanford--Cambridge weather is spastic, and the occasional summery spats in the dreariest, snowiest months are a cruel taunt.

The snow is most oppressive if you live in the dreaded Quad. The three Quad Houses are roomy, clean, attractive...and 15 minutes from the rest of campus. Quadlings will quickly bond while waiting at shuttle stops.

The Quad at least offers an element of solidarity that the River Houses have lacked since randomization in 1995. Harvard students used to pick their upperclass digs, and each House attracted a different personality (artsy, athletic, elitist). Now, Houses are little more than ordinary dorms, albeit particularly nice ones, most with amenities like fireplaces and hardwood floors.

If Harvard students are too lazy to walk to the Quad, imagine how rarely they get to Boston. We've heard Boston is a fabulous city, with museums, concerts, clubs and great restaurants. Too bad you'll never go.

The real world does occasionally intrude on campus, though. After a several-year lull in student protest, activism roared back this spring when a three-part rally descended on University Hall calling for a living wage, an end to sweatshop-produced goods and sterner protections against rape (two students were recently dismissed from the College after pleading guilty to sexual assault). Curmudgeonly professor Harvey C. Mansfield '53 called the protest "idiotic," but most are glad to see the student body shedding its recent apathy.

Another longtime controversy is the future of Radcliffe, a former undergraduate "college" that announced earlier this week it will become an Institute for Advanced Study. The Radcliffe Union of Students fears that the loss of the "college" will mean less attention to women's concerns on campus, but the jury's still out. One thing's clear: if you came to Harvard-Radcliffe because of its so-called "dual citizenship" for women, you might want to think again.

Many activists are also frustrated by the lack of faculty diversity. Part of the problem is Harvard's missing tenure track--most assistant faculty members will spend less time at Harvard than you will.

Students themselves are an incredibly varied lot. This is not your father's Harvard--while prep school alums are common, they no longer exclusively run the show. Harvard undergrads come from every state and increasingly from abroad--the international student population is sizeable and growing.

But one thing virtually every Harvard student has in common is ambition. This is the Type A capital of the world--students are driven in their academics, their extracurriculars, even their social life. ("We have to go party now!")

Even the debauchery is ambitious--during Primal Scream, the night before final exams, hordes of undergraduate streakers run naked around the Yard, often in sub-zero weather. No joke.

But when you peel away the intensity, your fellow Harvard men and women are surprisingly normal. You're just as likely to bond with your peers this weekend over "Saved by the Bell" and Molly Ringwald as philosophy or politics.

In a way, that's what your Harvard career will be all about--balancing Shakespearean sonnets and "Sixteen Candles." Don't forget--Harvard is still college. You're here to have a good time, and you probably will.

But don't buy everything you hear in Byerly Hall.