First, it suffered from a serious inefficiency problem in its supply chain. According to my investigation, nearly one in three shipments which left KDC's fields was confiscated by one government agency or another.

Second, it was losing ground in the public relations war on drugs in the US, its most lucrative market. Apparently, its "Crack, It Does A Body Good" campaign was failing miserably in competition with the ruthless dairy racket.

I interviewed several employees at KDC, from its growers in the field to the sweatshop where the product is refined to its Washington lobbyist, and came up with the following two recommendations.

The first thing the KDC should do is develop strategic global partnerships. It was clear that it could not go at this thing alone, and faced stiff competition from the more mature Cali Drug Cartel. I put Paco in touch with a friend at the Central Intelligence Agency who was looking for an eastern European connection.

The second method of attack I suggested was a new marketing approach that would build support among the people who cause much of the high costs for KDC: politicians. With a concerted campaign financing initiative, these destroyers of the free market would see the error of their ways.

The third recommendation was new product development. While illicit drugs were a good start, with the captive consumer base KDC could exploit its position further. By adopting the "Vice is Lord" motto, the company would be prepared to enter the 21st century with a suite of offerings, from arms sales to a global brothel network.

Six months later I re-entered the U.S. via the Canadian border, and today I'm proud to say that the work I did on the KDC case has made a substantive difference to the company.

KDC is now a global market leader in the vice industry, and I feel good knowing that my work was influential in getting them there.

And that's just one case! In the past year I've helped a Central American dictator develop a new training program for his secret police and advised Harvard final clubs on more effective womanizing techniques.

If you are looking for a dynamic, stimulating environment with global opportunities, consider international global strategy global management global consulting.

Baratunde R. Thurston '99 is a philosophy concentrator in Lowell House. His column will appear on alternate Tuesday.