THE RED ESSENTIALS

Brendan Greaves '00, Pablo Calopinto '00 and Luke Fischbeck '00 of the Red Essentials spoke to The Crimson from their Somerville residence.

THC: Do you plan to do anything special for the show this Friday?

BG: We're wearing red. We also plan on keeping our promise of shelling and cleaning prawns onstage with a six-inch gold blade. It'll be messy, but well worth it.

PC: I have a red cap.

LF: I have a red you know what. There'll be a video.

THC: What do you think about the other bands? Are you excited about playing with them?

BG: We've played with the magic number before, on several occasions. They're among the finest musicians at Harvard. Also, David Horn used to play in Mayaderen, a previous band of Luke, Pablo and mine. Luke and I have both played in groups with Michael Bernstein and Scott Pagano of Kick the Chemist, though we've never heard them in their newest incarnation.

PC: Mike used to be called Barney, and when he was, he was also dating a friend of mine, pretty lady. I have a postcard from Albuquerque that looks like Scott. I like them, and I also like the Magic Number. Playing with them will be mighty.

LF: Remember JenR8R (former campus band)? That was us and them (Kick the Chemist) too. Lockgroove is good, though they've never been to our house.

THC: Did the band members meet at Harvard?

PC: I met Brendan, sloshed, sitting at a table in the Wyndham Franklin hotel in downtown Philly. He had long hair then. I met Luke through Brendan, next to Widener Library. Luke told me he hated me; I think his words were: "I hate you." But now he doesn't hate me. All three of us met Mike this year. When we found out he was a drummer we were drunk and enthusiastic. The same night Luke threw up for the first time ever. So we knew.

THC: What are the best and worst things about being musicians at Harvard?

PC: The best is that there is virtually no good music, so a band like us gets to play whenever we want and people won't leave.

BG: The worst is that there are no good groupies. Not many people will sleep with us just because we are in a rock band. Also, there's virtually no good music here.

LF: Everyone thinks we're dirty. We're not dirty.

THC: So why should anyone come and see the show?

BG: We will whip that werewolf with a belt and also rock the kasbah like a hurricane. Lots of dancing sweaty people. I grew a moustache for the occasion.

LF: Berlin? 1978?

PC: Would you rather go pretend to have fun in a dorm room with rotting naked people? We do a cappella stuff too, real tight.

THC: What are your plans for the future?

PC: Slowly we move towards horror.

BG: We have a 7-inch (record) and are coming out with a live CD and an LP, all on English Muffin records, distributed by Swill records. And also we'll tour Europe.

KICK THE CHEMIST

The Crimson spoke to Scott Pagano, the bassist of Kick the Chemist, via e-mail. Few of his answers were true, but they were certainly entertaining.

THC: I've heard things about breaking bottles on stage. Do you plan to do anything special for the show this Friday?

SP: It struck us that breaking bottles was very childish and set a bad example for our younger fans. We have a trained ape which accidently swallowed a halogen lamp and now projects images of its insides wherever it faces. We have the ape dancing to our music, which is something no human has been able to achieve.

THC: Some of your band members have worked with members of the Red Essentials. What do you think about the other bands?

SP: I met some of the Red Essentials while we were hired ship hands in the South Pacific. They seemed always to be the ones who contracted the strangest diseases. The greatest times I can remember ever having are those early days of Polaroid (which included Brendan Greaves '00 of the Red Essentials). We would drive around Arizona with the top down singing and playing harmonica till the sun rose. Keep an eye out for the upcoming Luksuosowa record (also with Brendan Greaves), several of the tracks have already been licensed to "The Price is Right" as background music.

THC: How did the band members meet?

SP: Besides finding our drummer in the back of a cargo truck on the way to Afghanistan, we usually just stand on street corners with cartons of cigarettes, wait for people to bum a smoke off of us and then ask them to join our band.

THC: Describe your sound in 5 words.

SP: Strained, resonant, aspirated, audible, distinct.

THC: What are your plans for the future?

SP: Our IT department is working on some new system to replace us. Seeing as our guitarist is already dead this might come in handy real soon. The recording is going to be mostly algorithmic. We might add some maraca tracks or something.