On Wednesday, Harvard celebrated the success of its recent capital campaign. Our friends in the administration raised $2.1 billion. They held a big party in Manhattan to congratulate themselves and the donors. If the federal government had Neil L. Rudenstine's fundraising skills, we might be able to save Social Security and Medicare. Harvard plans to use the money to construct new ornamental towers for Sever, Emerson and the government tutorial office on Dunster Street.

Yesterday, Amoco and Chevron both announced that they will start warning customers not to use cellular phones near their gas pumps. It seems that electronic impulses from the phones could start a fire. Cellular phones also cause brain cancer.

For seniors, thesis pressure is slowly starting to mount. The social studies department is requiring that all concentrators turn in a thesis prospectus today. The social studies faculty is extremely fond of theorist Jurgen Habermas. If I wrote my thesis about him, I would probably do very well. Unfortunately, when I was assigned one of his books during my sophomore year, I couldn't understand a single word of it.

Jedediah Purdy '97 was a social studies concentrator. He just published a book about the pervasive presence of irony in modern culture. Recently, quite a few intellectuals have been expressing concern for the state of the zeitgeist. Many have observed that technological innovations have led to an excess of information. People are exposed to too much data, leaving them jaded. Perhaps irony is a means of escaping the weight of over-saturation. I really don't know. In order to participate in such modern debates, I am told that one must understand Habermas.

This weekend is a three-day weekend. There are no classes on Monday. Many people are planning on taking small vacations. I will be in my room, shooting bright yellow tennis balls at my roommate's new TV.

Noah D. Oppenheim '00 is a social studies concentrator in Adams House. His column appears on alternate Fridays.