The (cute Jewish) grandmother of sex thoughts, Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer has been in business since 1980, when she premiered on New York City radio.

Giving the gift of life: FM makes a deposit at a local sperm bank.

Reading Nerve--the Web's most publicized venture into erotica--in a dorm room is dangerous. There's little you can say in self-defense when caught reading "Nine and a Half Months: Bernadette Noll Can't Get Enough Pregnant Sex" at 3 a.m.

MYTH: Women do not masturbate

Despite what little Jenny told you during your last game of "I never," many women (yes, even Harvard women) find that self-pleasure is an integral part of their young adult lives.

1) Would you rather FAKE an orgasm in your Core class or HAVE an orgasm in your Core class?

2) Would you rather hook up with your roommate or go to dinner naked?

3) Would you rather have sex on the top bunk or on the bottom bunk?

4) Would you rather take a body shot off Neil Rudenstine or your House Master?

5) Would you rather do a striptease at the Lacrosse team initiation or at the Citystep Ball?

Don't fret--we've scoped out the scene to find you the closest condom, wherever and whenever you feel inspired.