Coming from small-town Wisconsin, I have long lived on the assumption that I can strew cash about my room, prop the door open and still sleep soundly, knowing I am safe. In fact, that is exactly what my brother used to do back home. And let me tell you, it was great. Whenever I needed some extra change, I could just go borrow some from his carpet. (Of course, I always paid the carpet back.)

But now that there have been three dorm room robberies on campus, I am beginning to have serious doubts about the safety provisions at this university. The way I understand it, most students have doors that have to be locked with a key. This is totally unacceptable. Does the university know how much of a student's time this wastes each time he or she has to lock or unlock the door? Seven seconds on average, that's how long (I just timed it); and so if you leave your room 20 times in a day, we're talking on the scale of whole minutes wasted every day. Plus, what if you really need to go to the restroom down the hall? That seven seconds could be the difference between making it and that one time in kindergarten when Johnny made you laugh too hard.

Well, what about this idea of "self-locking locks" on the doors? This is practically just as bad, since you still lose seven seconds every time you come home. And what if you really need to use your in-suite restroom?

Locks are never going to solve this crime rash--no, plague--this crime plague that is sweeping campus. We have to go to the heart of the problem. The heart of the problem is that here near Boston, we are not in small-town Wisconsin. So I have a recommendation for us all: Let's move the whole University to small-town Wisconsin. That way we can all sleep soundly, regardless of whether or not we take the time to lock our doors.

Philip J. Matchett '02

Oct. 13, 1999