Of course, that's why we needed the magic of 1998, the wizardry of the Invisible Hand, the miracle of androstenedione--to save this ailing game.

Speaking of which...

70? 66? Let us pause for a moment, in mourning of baseball's once-hallowed statistical legacy.

Three men in baseball history have hit 50 home runs in back-to-back seasons--Mark McGwire, Ken Griffey Jr. and Babe Ruth. The first two have both done it since 1995; Ruth did it in 1927 and 1928.

No one hit 50 home runs in the 1980s. Five men have done so since 1995.

There was a strike in 1994 and many of the owners worried that the fans would not come back and that businesses would shy away from the grand old game. All of a sudden the hitter's Renaissance was born.

Some say the ball is juiced. 70? 66? Nah.

Some say the players are "stronger." Well, at least their medicine cabinets are bigger.

Some say the pitching has been watered down from overexpansion. You may not know it yet, but Arizona, you want a baseball team. Charlotte, you want a hockey team. Vancouver, you want a basketball team.

More luxury boxes for me, more crappy teal and/or purple teams with cartoon character logos for you. It's better for both of us. Trust me.

62 home runs. Priceless.

Yeah, right.