The Astros just withdrew from the bidding for Roger Clemens because his agents want not only a trade but also a new contract. That's not the way it works--you trade for a guy because he's under contract and not available as a free agent.

Instead, Clemens' people asked that the two-year, $16.1 million deal he has now be extended to a three-year, $43.5 million deal, according to the Houston Chronicle. That amounts to adding a year to the contract for $27.4 million if I subtracted correctly (give or take a few ten millions).

Baseball is killing itself if only five teams have the budgets to be able to compete for the title. In 1998, everyone knew the Yankees would win the World Series, but the home run race was there to captivate the imagination. Baseball can't bank on a similarly intriguing story this summer to distract fans from the lack of excitement in the standings.

8. If I can't get wish number seven, I want to be a major league starting pitcher.

9. Defensive Driving classes for "Crazy Shuttle Guy." If you live in the Quad, you know who this guy is. He shouts at passengers, drives crazily but always manages to be late, misses stops, leans out the window to make obscene gestures at other drivers, and, like George Costanza's father, always "stops short."

10. Congress to make moving a sports franchise punishable by anything the spurned fans can come up with short of death. Any kind of beating, whipping, electrical stimulation, or painful and possibly humiliating medical procedure (we are talking about old men in most cases) would be fair game.

This isn't too much to ask for, is it? Happy Holidays.