2) Fear of impregnating a girl or getting STDs: "I know a friend who got his girl pregnant and, anyway, I don't want to catch anything."
3) Lack of a suitable mate: "I'm going to wait for the right woman, even if I don't marry her, before I have sex."
4) Lack of opportunity: "I haven't even kissed a girl, so I haven't had the chance to release my sexual energy."
Most people, especially guys, cite the fourth reason as the primary explanation of male virginity. While many guys here at Harvard haven't had any intimate relationships with girls, there are plenty of male virgins, myself included, who can cite one of the other three reasons for their virginity. We have to stop picturing male virgins as unattractive, pitiful, unlucky losers. Our entire culture seem to think that, if given the chance, most virgins would choose to have sex. We have to understand that many males are virgins by choice, not by circumstance. As a result of our view of male virgins as losers who can't get laid, we mock them and give no moral value to their decision. On the other hand, we see female virginity as virtuous because we conclude that females are virgins by choice.
I'm not arguing that virginity is a more virtuous path than promiscuity. My more immediate aim is to rid us of the notion that virginity in males should be a source of embarrassment and shame. I ask that that the conception of virginity be reconsidered.
Virgin males should celebrate their status. They should not hide inside a closet. This liberation, as I call it, will make the decision to have sex, when the right time presents itself, an informed and conscious choice, not a result of peer pressure or the misplaced desire to reach manhood.
So to all you virgins out there, and I know there are many of you, let me say this: walk with your head up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, despite what the media, popular culture, Wilt Chamberlain, some of your friends and even your father might lead you to believe. It took me a long time to arrive at this conclusion, but I hope you guys reach it sooner.
Sozi T. Sozinho is a senior living in Leverett House.