"[I now realize] my parents shouldn't be paying for me to go to the Grille," Bones says. "I'm now doing PBHA. It makes me feel less guilty about being about a slacker."

I Am, Therefore I Slack

Experience has taught Yon A. Lot '00, another anonymous slacker, that most people don't have to do half the work on their course syllabi to make the grade.

With this secret to happiness under his belt, Lot lives the life of a slacker.

"Since I don't love to study or anything, it seems like it would be masochistic to do more of it," Lot says.

And study he doesn't. Nor does Lot bother to go to class.

"Let's just say if we have a lecture course together, you probably wouldn't recognize me," Lot says.

This is not to say Lot doesn't do well academically. In fact, several of his acquaintances say Lot is one of the most intelligent people they've ever met.

"I don't want to make a huge deal about how my overwhelmingly superior intelligence let's me make As without buying my coursebooks (not that I usually buy my coursebooks)," Lot says, "because I'm convinced that virtually everyone here could cut down on their work without affecting what they learn or how high their grades are."

But Lot--described by Porter University Professor Helen H. Vendler as a "wonderful student who thinks independently and originally, and writes cogently"--isn't shy about his own talents.

"Hell, it's nice to be blessed," says Lot, an English concentrator.

And while he isn't hitting the books, you can be sure Lot's hitting the sheets.

"Sleep is very big for me; frankly, it's a priority," Lot says. "If I don't get my nine hours every night, I'm not going to be happy--so I try to get it."

Being so well-rested has its advantages.

"My social life rocks," Lot says. "If you're not studying and you're not stressed, you've got that much more time and energy to devote to the party, right?"