Many Harvard students, as invulnerable as they may seem, do have issues they would like to talk about with someone removed from the everyday routine of their life. But there is a big difference between thinking that talking to an adult about academic and personal issues might be nice, and actually seeking out an adult with whom to talk. At Harvard, finding a tutor, professor or teaching fellow with whom to discuss your life is often more a matter of luck than of any institutional advising structure.
As a result, instead of seeking out adults for advice, students often to fellow students. That is healthy and as it should be. But when I was talking with friends the other day, we all noticed that a lot of people at Harvard, even the nicest ones, don't always have time to listen to your day. Often, we're all so caught up writing our next paper or finishing our latest extracurricular task that, even when we really want to listen to a friend, we end up half-listening while making a mental list of everything we have to do.
Of course, this doesn't apply to times when friends call with a pressing problem. Then, we drop everything and listen. But that only happens once in a while, and in the meantime, we go back to thinking about the next duty we must fulfill.
Some students do seek out counseling through UHS or the Bureau of Study Counsel, but because Harvard is such a high-powered, intense place where self-reliance is the highest virtue, saying you've sought counseling can be perceived as a sign of weakness.
"No matter how diverse the population at the Bureau of Study Counsel or UHS [University Health Services] may be, there are always going to be people, even middle-American folks who feel that going to seek help is not something you do," said Alexandra Barcus, Lowell House senior tutor for six years. "That used to be very much the idea, that you never went to a psychiatrist."
One well-adjusted adult I have spoken with at Harvard said she has gone to counseling at points but have never mentioned it among colleagues because it would be a stigma.
For Harvard students, it is also a stigma. After all, few people tell their roommates or even their closest friends if they go to Room 13, ECHO or Response. It defies the Harvard image of the flawless, utterly capable person who balances extracurriculars, academics, friendships and romance with ease and finesse.
It would be difficult for Harvard to make the idea counseling less shameful, due to the nature of Harvard students. But with a stronger support system in the houses, perhaps fewer students would need to seek counseling, or at least they would be reassured by tutors that counseling is acceptable and then referred to a capable professional.
The discussion of a stronger support system in the houses is not complete without a mention of the increasing numbers of mental illness cases at Harvard.
"We have many more in the College [now] who are living with illness," said Dean of Students Archie C. Epps III at an information meeting Thursday about the Dunster House murder-suicide.. "Having more people in care carries a risk."
To lessen that risk, the College should make sure that these students living with documented mental illness have extra attention paid to their needs. Tutors should set up appointments with them and keep in contact with the students' psychiatrists or doctors.
It is cruel, useless and maybe false to say that more attention to students in the houses could have prevented last week's deaths.
As Barcus says, "My understanding from UHS and so forth is that the people who are most bent on suicide are going to be very sure nobody knows about it, because if they let anyone know they'll be stopped."
Tadesse may well have been one of those people. But in the future, the College could do more to help students at points along the way. By emphasizing the importance of a support system in the houses, College administrators could at least try to avert further tragedies.