DeLou hugged me when I needed it, hit me when Ineeded it, and reminded me of the obvious factthat, as a healthy Harvard student, things couldnever be as bad as I thought they were. From him Ilearned that one can be both ambitious andselfless, though he's the only person I've evermet whose quite gotten there.

And so, big bro, don't say I never acknowledgeyou. I hereby do that, and more--I want the classof 1999 to clone you.

In his crazy way, DeLouis symbolized--and infact pragmatically presented--what I had beenlooking for from the start: some security and aniche where the people I liked (really, secretlyliked) liked me back.

DeLouis and co. weren't out to impress, theywere out just to be.

It took a while, pretty much the whole longyear of me trying to overcome my disgust at thetypes of people I was with and the type of personI was becoming, to reconcile myself to that factthat what I really most wanted was just to be, andto be with my real friends.

It feels strange to offer up all this for whatis essentially public consumption when it wasn'treally so long ago that I consciously recognizedit in the first place. It's hard because I can'tkeep people who know me, and who know of what Iwrite, from reading this .

There's little greater accountability thanthat, and I know they know things about me that Idon't even know. I'm doing my best to be straight,not just because I don't want to waste your time,but also because I know there are people out therewatching.

It's a strain to write something like this--andto keep it true--without using a completely cheesyand/or completely condescending topic as a crutch.

I don't want to do that. And so, like anyjournalist in search of a more interesting story,I focus on the bad.

But I do love Harvard, in my way.

And what I love most about it, despite myendless debacles, was my first year. When I thinkback and wonder what I've gained from being here,it all pretty much centers around choices I mademany semesters ago.

My life then and my life now hardly seem tobelong to the same person, but it was then thatthe mold was cast. It just took me a while to fitinto it.

The first year I realized who I wasn't and whatI didn't want to be. There are so may amazingpeople you'll meet (though don't be disillusionedwhen you meet many who don't impress you--it'sonly a college, not a deity convention, after all)that you might be tempted to want to be like a lotof them. Secretly, most likely, a lot of them willwant to be like you.

But as Mufasa told Simba, (I had to toss in acheesy pop culture reference somewhere--it'spractically required. At least I waited thislong.) don't forget who you are. Your first yearwill be almost the only time when you meet yourclassmates. You'll feel like you're meeting theworld.

Within your group there will be a microcosm ofwhat's best among human life on earth. You canmost enjoy this if you're focused on yourclassmates, not on what they represent in relationto yourself.