Twenty thousand dollars seems like a lot of money. But it's spread out over a 10-year period. If a family were to take this money and move to New Haven, the increase in their home and auto insurance premiums might be greater than the money they get from Yale.

"These 125 employees represent 125 potential Little League coaches, 125 taxpayers," said DeStefano. These employees also represent 125 new people to steal from, 125 potential murder victims, or 125 families with children to be kidnapped.

Indeed, we see in Yale's plan the broad outlines of an arrangement that could be turned into an adaptation of Indecent Proposal.

"Would you spend an evening in New Haven if I gave you a million dollars?"

The answer is a resounding no.   David B. Lat

JUST JEWETT

We at Dartboard would like to propose a toast: to Dean of the College L. Fred Jewett '57, who will leave his job in July to begin a lucrative advertising career.

Yes, Jewett finally took Nike's offer to sell sneakers as a "Just Do It" exemplar by just doing it to the housing lottery. Flying in the face of adversity, albeit without wearing running shoes, Jewett went all the way--no more ninny-pinny non-ordered choice. He truly embodies that go-get-'em Nike ideal.

But there's more for the lucky dean. He'll be appearing in a series of spots for Mountain Dew as well, with the slogan "Just Dew Ett." Joined by other titans of college administration, Jewett will profess the outright wussiness of the housing decision when compared to the chest-hair-inducing powers of a certain near-fluorescent caffeinated beverage.

We hope that Jewett will think of us as he reaps millions in residuals. Perhaps, with his help, every dining hall will install a Mountain Dew machine right next to Mrs. Widener's cherished ice cream.   Daniel Altman