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'Netting the internet romance

This past March, Corwyn Y. Miyagishma '96-'97 met a woman from Kansas on MUD, an interactive game on the Internet.

Two months later, Miyagishma met the woman in person when she was flying through New Jersey, his home state. They still keep in touch.

Pluses and Minuses

Students say meeting people on the 'Net is much easier than in person.

"Some people find meeting other people in person scary," says Professor of Psychology Philip J. Stone, who taught a class last year on networking and social coordination. "People who are shy or self-conscious about something are more comfortable meeting people on computers."

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"I was amazed how many stories [the students] had about people they knew who preferred to meet somebody on the Internet," he says, referring to the class.

Students say meeting over the Internet helps to find people who have similar interests or makes it easier for shy people to be themselves and meet someone through the protection of a computer.

"Sometimes when you post on a newsgroup you can meet people with similar interests," Miyagishima says.

"It's an interesting thing because the 'Net is so blind; you can post things and not be aware that a person is there," Rosenbaum says. "There are quite a few people who are too shy to meet people otherwise."

On the other hand, Kadel warns that not everyone who people meet over the net are as safe as one would think.

Kadel comments on having received several random talk requests "just because I'm a girl".

Students also question how much you can really know a person that you have met over the Internet.

"There are a heck of a lot of people that I've met over the 'Net that I would scream and run away from [if we met in person]," Kadel says.

She recalls one such instance in which she responded to a post by a 40-year-old man in Chicago two years ago.

After e-mailing back and forth for some time, his e-mails became more and more flirtatious. Kadel says she started to set nervous when he asked her to send him a picture of herself. Before she could respond, her system crashed and she has not heard from him since.

Martin says that an obvious disadvantage to meeting people on the 'Net is that it is often impossible to really get to know them until a real meeting takes place.

In her own case, she says, everything that her boyfriend was telling her could have been lies, and she would not have been able to recognize the deceit.

"On Uschet, no one knows if you're a dog," Martin adds.

"The obvious disadvantage of Internet romance is that the people involved become very intimate before they have actually me," Bruce says. "You can never fully understand a person until you have met."

As Kadel says, "I am glad I did it, but I wouldn't do it again."

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