Time for a little spring cleaning. Time to empty out the sports mind.

.Rewind the tapes to Opening Day at Fenway. Despite Roger Clemens looking more like Eric Clemons (from channel seven sports), everything went pretty well on Monday.

Except in the bleachers, where a "fan" threw an M-80 into the Red Sox bullpen.

I guess he didn't like the movement on Jeff Russell's curve.

Seriously though, what a lunatic. He's right out of the Vince Coleman school of social etiquette.

Call me conservative, but when you carry an explosive into a stadium and then proceed to throw the thing, you're not playing with a full deck.

The man belongs behind bars. We're all a little bit frustrated with the annual Fenway collapse, but this is going overboard.

The obscenities thrown back and forth in the bleachers is mildly offensive. But at least no one gets hurt.

When you need the bomb squad to escort you to your seat, however, the fun has gone a bit too far.

..I turned in for a little candlepin bowling this past weekend and sure enough, Bill Clinton was in the crowd.

Amazed, I changed the channel, thinking maybe the night before had been too much fun. Nothing much was on so I settled for cliff diving in Hawaii. No sooner do I sit down than I hear the announcer turn to his guest Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Seriously, you turn on the tube these days and those Clintons are everywhere.

Slick Willy put in a tough day on Monday. He was in Cleveland to throw out the first pitch, watched the first six innings and then flew off to Charlotte to watch his Hogs win the NCAA basketball crown.

Meanwhile, his wife, President Hillary, was in Chicago hanging out with the Cubs.

It's amazing what tax dollars can buy. But my only question is--where's poor Roger?