"A judge could order a home study if he or she felt like it, before anything goes through," Zeller said.
When an adult marries a parent with legal custody of child, the new spouse normally doesn't face much opposition in becoming a legal co-parent. This is rarely the case with gay couples, panelists said.
And the legal tangle that often results from divorce and remarriage among heterosexual couples can be a nightmare for gays and lesbians.
"If a gay couple separates, how is the property divided?" said Triantafillou." And if there was a child in the relationship, who gets custody?"
A personal perspective was offered by Cindy Rizzo, Associate Director of Development at the Fenway Community Health Center. She and her female partner have two young children.
"We've tried to build a support network so the [children] can relate to others who have gay parents," said Rizzo.
Rizzo added her perception that fears of gays deliberately "Swelling their ranks" are ridiculous.
The discussion was covered by National Public Radio.