Reality: The hummus is the only thing more popular than pot-smoking, punk-rocking, Berkin-stock-wearing intellectuals.

Eliot

Sound-bite: If you liked the Head of the Charles, you'll love Eliot!

Reality: If you like Eliot, you loved Andover-Exeter games.

Kirkland

Sound-bite: Let me put it to you this way--without my rollerblades, man I'm nothing.

Reality: The courtyard is quiet on the weekends as residents head to final club parties or overhyped speeches at the IOP.

Leverett

Sound-bite: Yaayyyy, Leverett!!!!

Reality: While the Pizza Ring delivery person always heads for the towers--no matter what entryway you order from--no one cares because they're either trying to get warm or in the grill or playing intramurals or, well, Yaayyyy, Leverett!!!!

Lowell

Sound-bite: The next best thing to home.

Reality: ...but only if your mother was a short-order cook at the IHOP.

Mather

Visual sound-bite: Athletic team posters in the dining hall. Nuff said.