Last summer, I had a friend tell me that she'd had unprotected sex. Her voice low, her eyes refusing to meet mine, she tried to explain why she had not persuaded her partner a man she's known for only two weeks to use a condom.

"I don't know why I didn't" was all she said. "I wasn't thinking. I usually use some sort of protection." Then she laughed, a nervous, high, laugh. "I used to be on the pill," she told me. "I stopped about two months ago. This is the first time in while I haven't been careful."

I was shocked by the fact that she had taken no precautions. I just listened to her, unsure of how to respond.

After all, what could I really say?

It seemed like something out of a sex education brochure or even a Harvard Peer Contraceptive Counseling workshop.

But it was frighteningly real. The woman standing in front of me was no wide eyes first year. She was a recent graduate of a liberal arts college who was planning to pursue her Ph.D. in English literature at one of the finest universities in the country. I had always admired her for her sharp mind, her sense of humor, her ability to always seem so completely put together and at ease.

She still hadn't protected herself.

As college students, we all know about protecting ourselves. Here at Harvard, we have Peer Contraceptive Counselors and AIDS Education and Outreach, bot of Which hold workshop and events designed to foster awareness about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. There are free condoms handed out during Condom Week and AIDS awareness Week. The media continually blitzes us with information, ranging from glossy covers on Time and Newsweek to dire warnings on talk shows.

The message by now is clear: the safest sex is no sex, but if you're going do it, you sure as hell should use a condom.

The Centers for Disease Control an prevention and the American College Health Association estimate that one out of Every 500 college students is (0.2 percent) is HIV positive. The estimated rate for the General population is twice that, one out of 250 people (0.4 percent). Yet while the numbers may seem to some miniscule, AIDS experts remain wary. "You still have risky behavior going on college campuses," a CDC spokesperson said in October, 1993 New York Times article. "it's misleading to think you're not at risk because you're a college student."

Although the numbers of HIV positive students on college campuses are less than in the general population, the actual prevalence of HIV infection among college and university students is not known. HIV infection acquired in college may not result in recognizable AIDS until long after commencement.

In addition, although may students are seeking out testing, experts fear that those who need it the most are not getting it. While private universities have more resources and have been making a more consistent effort to educate university students on campus, often students at financially strapped college do not receive to benefits of either AIDS education or testing.

There is a sense among many students on college campuses of living in a so-called "ivory tower." We may know some of the statistics about AIDS and even about sexually transmitted diseases, but it's been intellectualized, rationalized into nothingness.

Despite all the media coverage and national hype, there is a sense that AIDS is something remote, relevant only to small percentages of the population. "HIV and AIDS has forced us to face things that we liked to have behind closed doors," says Linda Frazier, a health educator at University Health Services. "It brings to the forefront all of our differences and hang ups about what the realities of our lives are. We want to believe that it's US versus THEM, the morally right. versus those who just don't act right. We're not willing to address our own sexuality."

Part of the problem in living in a society where sex is constantly present but is still taboo as a conversational topic. The media and advertisers send out messages of sex in the same breath that they caution us about AIDS.