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Winter Games

On The John

The judges, donning helmets and bullet-proof coats, rate the jumper's form and the accuracy of his shot.

Like other Olympic sports, the event will be judged on a 6.0 scale, with a simple rule: if the skier accidentally shoots a spectator, he or she would automatically receive a two-point reduction.

And if the action were deemed intentional, then the skier would be disqualified, and subject to arrest.

Of course, attracting fans might be a problem, but I think the athletes would hone their skills and by the time it became a medal event, it would be safe for everyone involved: participants, judges and fans.

I just wouldn't want to attend many of the practice sessions.

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John C. Ausiello is a crimson staff writer. And if you think his views on the Winter Olympics are a little offbeat, you probably don't want to know how much he loves tractor pulls and professional wrestling.

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