IRSAY SUCKS!!!! COLTS STINK!!! DON MAJKOWSKI COULDN'T PASS TO HEATHER LOCKLEAR!!!

If you're wondering why I wrote those things, well, so am I.

You see, I went to the Patriots game on Sunday against the Colts. It was a good game--the home team won, and I had too much greasy food from the refreshment stand.

But something else happened that on that frigid day. Something very, well, very strange.

I, a Forty-Niner fan, began to verbally abuse the Indianapolis Colts--who have never had any rivalry whatsoever with my beloved Niners.

I did have quite a bit of prodding, mainly from next to fellow sports Cubist Mike Ginsberg, a Baltimorean who has never quite forgiven the Colts for leaving 10 years ago. But for the most part, the words came from inside myself. Once given the possibility of taunting Indy, I took it as far as I could.

Why?

What have the Colts done to me? They haven't beaten San Francisco since Weeb Ewbank was alive. And though it is true that Bob Irsay was a little mean for moving the club from Baltimore in the middle of the night, it's not like I live east of the Mississippi.

Nevertheless, I yelled like crazy. "Hey Marshall," I called out to the Colts' running back. "If you were any worse, you'd be running backwards!!!"

I should find a healthier way to deal with my anxieties.

I never thought so. These warriors are being paid millions upon millions of dollars to be placed under a microscope, I reasoned, and I'm gonna zoom in and out all I want.

Still, I left the game feeling a bit funny. I'm used to saving all of my anger for the Dodgers or another pansy L.A. team, and here I am getting horse (no pun intended) yelling about a team that plays at the RCA Dome.

I had never really thought twice about yelling at sporting events until Sunday. It never felt strange abusing-Southern California teams.

But because of this period of self-reflection, there are now other thoughts running through my head. Like, don't I look sort of like an idiot doing this?

The next time I see the Giants play the Dodgers, am I going to yell and scream as much as I did before? If I feel strange booing the Colts, why should I attack any team?