Uh, yeah. Right. And I'm supposed to pay $60 so that I can make Shaq run around? For that much money, the final opponent in the game had better be John Starks. Or Mark Eaton. Or better yet, a three-armed Pat Riley throwing flaming grease balls.

It has been three days since I saw this ad, and my brain still feels like malt-o-meal.

All that goes through my head is, "Why? Why did you do this?"

What's next, Mr. O'Neal? Are you going to take on David Carridine in the greatest Kung Fu battle ever waged between stunt men? How about sparring with Michael Jordan in cyber-mutant-battlegolf?

I can see the ad for that now. Both warriors, clad in plaid pants with mustard yellow polo shirts and tweed hats, hurling cybernetic golf balls at each other and wielding bioengineered pitching wedges.

(Of course, given Jordan's batting average, he'll only hit Shaq 20% of the time.)

Personally, I think that Shaq is a nice person. His trademark goofy smile is, in my estimation, natural. But Shaq just can't tell when he looks like a fool.

His life is a fantasy. He wakes up in the morning, and thinks, "I wanna be in a video game. That would be really neat."

But at what cost? Doesn't he see that doing stuff like this hurts his reputation among other NBA players? Remember, without basketball, Shaq--he media darling--is nothing.

If Shaq becomes a more mediocre player, he will be laughed at for his hubris-filled hobbies. And when that day comes--and sometime it will--the legend of Shaq Fu will not continue.