"In my opinion, pre-professionalism is so rampant that people fear hurting their careers or their livelihood," Gideonse says. "There are so many closeted people on The Crimson, U.C., so many closeted gov jocks, so many people scared of what will happen if they come out."

"So if they eventually do come out, it won't be here because they are making contacts here," he adds. "I have a friend who cannot resign the fact that he is gay and wants to be governor of Massachusetts."

For first-year students who want to be out but also participate in certain activities, the choice is doubly hard, undergraduates say.

"There is more of an oppressive atmosphere for athletes because they are expected to fit in a certain type of role," says one Harvard athlete who is closeted.

"They are supposed to be extremely womanizing, boozing and socializing in that order," he says. "You get used to hanging out, boozing and going to the [Crimson Sports] Grille. You get used to the socializing and you can't break the mold."

Harvard's reputation as a more conservative school may be self-perpetuating.

"People who are out in high school when they are looking at colleges look very carefully at what the gay community is like at those colleges," Hobbs says. "I met a couple of freshmen who were out during freshman week who chose Yale or Brown precisely because of that reason."

But a school's gay scene is only one facet in the final decision. Gay students are drawn to Harvard because of its academics and also because of its proximity to Boston, which has a large gay population. One of the reasons that Cheuse picked Harvard was so that she could make a difference in its atmosphere, she says.

"I wanted to try to help people feel more comfortable with issues of difference and issues of sexuality," the first-year student says.

Other Ivies

The problem at Harvard is not in the University's administration, employees say. After heavy lobbying, Harvard instituted an anti-discrimination policy which included sexual orientation in 1985, before either Yale or Brown.

Harvard was the first Ivy League school to cover domestic partners under benefit plans, says Professor of Philosophy Warren D. Goldfarb '69. "The administration is very reasonable. They tend to listen to reasoned arguments."

In the past few years gay faculty comfort level has improved, Goldfarb says. "Six years ago I was the only one out. Now, the numbers have grown quite considerably."

But for students, Harvard is still lagging behind other Ivies in providing a friendly atmosphere for fi0rst-years and upper-class students.

At Yale, the entire first-year class is 1200, three-quarters the size of Harvard's but has 30 to 40 out first-years, says Gowri Ramachandran, a bisexual first-year at the New Haven school.