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Total Recall

Dan Rostenkowski moved steadily closer to indictment, but politics forced Clinton to stand by his man.

Surgeon General nominee Joycelyn Elders made little effort to ingratiate herself with her conservative detractors, defiantly defending her radical belief that condoms are a more effective shield against teen pregnancy than moralistic admonitions to "just say no."

August

Clinton's budget passed, but presidential wannabe Bob Kerrey stole headlines by posturing pathetically for days and finally giving an eloquent speech that would have been noble a month earlier but instead was only self-serving and arrogant.

Massachusetts Gov. Bill Weld raised his 1996 presidential stock by proposing to cut state taxes as relief from the Clinton tax increases. And Ted Kennedy strengthened his often-tenuous hold on his job by raising enough money to scare Weld out of running for Senate next year.

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Lord Owen's desperation became clear as he sided with Serbian rapists against the besieged Bosnians. Just when this pressure pushed the Bosnian president toward the negotiating table, incompetent Secretary of State Warren Christopher tempted him to back out by flirting once again with American air strikes.

In Denver, Clinton shielded the Pope from the rain, while the man who opposes condom use as a way to prevent AIDS lectured the president on the value of life.

An initially heroic humanitarian effort in Somalia deteriorated into an inept, farcical manhunt worthy of the Three Stooges and reminiscent of the 1989 Manuel Noriega fiasco. The search for Somali warlord Mohammed Farah Aideed reached a comic low when 50 elite U.S. Army Rangers, acting on special "intelligence," stormed a building rumored to house Aideed's rebels--only to find a bunch of U.S. foreign aid workers, whom they promptly arrested.

A march celebrating the 30th anniversary of the 1963 Civil Rights march on Washington flopped because its organizers were unorganized.

Ethics, Egos and Acts of God

Mother Nature gave TV meteorologists their 15 minutes in the national spotlight. A heat wave battered the East Coast, while floods in the Midwest produced, ironically, water shortages. The flooding allowed politicians from the lowa state house to the White House to do what they do best: express sympathy and hand out money.

Ross Perot continued his demagogic quest for attention, but every time he was asked for specific numbers to back up his grandiose plans, he said he had left them at home. Seems he didn't expect journalists and talk show hosts to actually ask him questions. By the end of the summer, even Jay Leno was challenging Perot's jingoistic race-baiting.

A switched-at-birth case was resolved when a Florida teenager legally gave her biological parents the finger, while another game of musical parents ended with Jessica DeBoer returning to the "mom" who gave her up for adoption and the "dad" who was no where to be found when she was born.

In Pennsylvania, we learned one family's answer to an old "what would you do?" ethics question, when a baby's life was sacrificed to give her Siamese twin a one percent chance at life. An emotional human interest story soon gave way to sensationalist scandal-mongering when it turned out the twins' father was buying cocaine with money that was donated for his daughter's hospital care.

A still-desolate Homestead Florida marked the anniversary of Hurricane Andrew as North Carolina and Virginia braced for Hurricane Emily.

Bob Dole split his time between Washington and New Hampshire, ensuring that by 1996 voters in both places will be just as sick of him as they are of Clinton.

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