On the Radio

It's not too sexy for the charts.

Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" has leapt to the top. Number One!

"Sex dominates the charts!" screams Charisma Records' propaganda machine.

How does it happen that a British group unknown in America skyrockets to the top of the heap? 15 Minutes has conducted a musicological/social-scientific/sexually-oriented analysis of the success of the song. Here are the results:

The Vide. The three muscular men who make up Right Said Fred objectify themselves in the most beautiful of ways. They strut, they preen, they flex, they "shake their little tushes on the catwalk." Delicious.

The beat. Back to the eighties with a vengeance. Throw in a touch of disco, and there's a perfect mix. It funks, it pulsates, it sexes, if "you know what I mean."

The lyrics. The best lyrics of any song in the nineties. Simple, yet far-out. Built around a theme common to many Americans. Too much darn sexuality. Indeed, few among us have not thought that they were "Too sexy for their cat."

When the group proclaims collectively, "I'm a model. You know what I mean," we understand what they mean. To be a model. We understand.

The satire is unmatched in modern lyrics. It bites and it tickles. In fact, Peter Albertelli of Charisma Records says that the song's success can be directly attributed to its "sense of humor in these hard times." Blame the recession for everything.

If you want to see the shaking of the tushes live, you will have the chance! Too Sexy! Right Said Fred! MTV Spring Break Bash In Daytona!

They're too sexy for this mag.

Person of the Week: Jeff Dahmer

With the commencement of the insanity trial of Jeff "the Chef" Dahmer, the nation has once again dipped its curious hand into the blue plastic barrels filled with rotting flesh and bone.

Of course, Newsweek wants us to remember that there are potential Jeff Dahmers everywhere; seemingly normal, ultra-average men leading outrageously dull lives until they snap and begin to kill. With Dahmer, however, this ordinary Joe turned psychotic serial killer theory turns sour. What kind of everyday guy