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JFK: The Untold Story

GRUN-BLINGS

Usually. According to his transcript, Kennedy only failed two out of 16 classes at Choate. Then again, he also posted two 65's and a 67. His best grade was an 81 in sophomore English. He ranked 65th in a class of 110. You get the picture.

"He sure wasn't too good at math...or French...or Latin," Light mused as he studied the transcript. "Third quarter of his class. If something like this came in now, forget it."

Without a doubt, the most entertaining aspect of Kennedy's application is his hastily scribbled essay. Light graciously called it "flimsy." There is nothing I could possibly say about it that would be funnier than reproducing it in its entirety:

Q: Why do you wish to come to Harvard? The Committee will expect a careful answer to this question. (Obnoxious italics mine.)

A: The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better back ground [sic] and a better Liberal [sic] education then [sic] any other university. I have always wanted to go there, so I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerly [sic] hope I shall attain.

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ALTHOUGH I DO NOT believe that JFK was a particularly great president, or that he was killed by a massive conspiracy of evil people that included everybody except for The American Public, I am entirely convinced that he was an intelligent man. Even though his application to Harvard sucked. Even though his grades at Harvard were mostly gentleman's C's. Even though the authorship of his senior thesis remains under dispute to this day.

College applications just don't tell us much about the applicants 55 years down the road. They do, however, make for amusing retrospective giggle-and-snortfests. Who knows? Maybe some Crimson brat 50 years down the road will dig up President Grunwald's pitiful Harvard application.

Hey, don't laugh. To be president is an enviable distinction, one that I sincerly hope I shall attain..

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