5) Definition: Dephallicization: 1. n, A deconstructionist process of desiccating literature into an acceptable, gender-free model. 2. n, Removal of the genitalia. 3. n, Removal of vitality or force through expurgation.

7) She/He. S(he). (S)he. S/he. S/H. What about "It?" Sexually indeterminate-inclusive language: If we must use it, reduce it! Contract it! Thus, expand it: S/H/IT. Learn it. Peace.

BUT BACK to our original point. As Schoenberg did to music, we have in essence liberated ourselves from the cumbersome restraints of our chauvinistic and repressive society. (PENIS!)

Never before would we dare question the effectual (LOVE NOW!! LOVE CAREFULLY!! LOVE WITH LATEX!! NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!!!) mechanics of our linguistic structure, for fear of its very demise.

At long last, we have broken into a vast, untapped linguistic realm of diatonic-scale proportions. To deny this prodigious development, this long-awaited break-through, would be rapaciously antisemantic. Still, to accept this eventful flux without the genuine sincerity of welcoming emotion would be no less prejudicial.

Let us praise the worthy (mis?)- demeanor of the Modern Language Association, of Stanley Fish and Frederick Jameson, and let us revel in their... La dee da... standards of criticism.

POINT? As a mere word (as that is all it is these days) of advice to all you bright-eyed freshperchildren, take heed for there are countless brigades of evil (pseudo-) linguists and (anti-) academicians.

They linger, prepared to mentally break you with their incomprehensible esotericisms and their pestiferous hyper-sensitivities, and to comb through your every utterance for something, anything that might show you are anything but objective and sterile, and definitely not human.

Frightened? Well, welcome to the Academy. It can be a laugh a minute.