2.4 children.

$140,000 mortgage.

18.6 marital spats per year.

50 percent divorce rate.

It wasn't a pretty portrait. "You're what?" wasn't looking so bad after all.

As a last gasp attempt, I decided to turn inward. Facing a full-length mirror, I asked myself: What would I want someone to say to me if I said I was engaged?

I thought. I stared. I thought some more. After a very long period of thinking, I determined that I wasn't ready to get engaged.

Time was running out. All around me I began to hear rumors of seniors dropping out of the singles market and choosing the path of wedded bliss. What was I going to do when someone else told me The News?

Then it dawned on me. Perhaps my quest for the perfect response derived more from my own uncertainty than from my kind-heartedness. It's difficult to be sure that a college senior--any college senior--can make a decision that can last a lifetime. To compensate for my uncertainty, I was looking for the ever-elusive "right thing" to say.

Perhaps, in other words, I should have been searching for that perfect non-verbal signal. Maybe a hearty handshake. Or a warm hug and a sigh. An interpretive dance?