Usually, though, the Tree Falling In The Forest Ed Page gets filled with inane commentary on less weighty subjects. In 1987, for instance, Alvar Mattei wrote about his recently developed pinball addiction. Mattei acknowledged that as a child, he preferred to "vaporize little green monsters" and "blast space rocks."

Now that's an editorial best left unread if I've ever seen one.

The greatest pre-Thanksgiving piece I came across was David Edelstein's 1981 discussion of Halloween II, which began thusly: "Women can be very frightening. Sometimes I panic in the middle of talking to them; sometimes I can't even get that far. Sex is too complicated; relationships too difficult. I'm losing touch with my fellow man; I have an urge that creeps like chocolate syrup up my pant legs when I see a woman I can't have: to take out a big bowie knife and cut and cut..."

Wow. If I were ed chair at the time, I would have saved that beauty for the Monday after.

ALL RIGHT, that's 30 column inches. Can I go home now?

Editorial Chair Michael R. Grunwald '92 knows that the best thing about writing for the pre-Thanksgiving ed page is that you don't really need to write a conclusion.